Free and Fearless

I keep wishing for what I had with you. I don’t know if I'm just wishing for you. Or the elements of what I experienced when I was with you. If I come back to you, can we bring it all back? Or is it really gone? Better to let it be gone?
I loved you so much and I wasn’t afraid! I could tell you that I would die for you. I felt that you were all I needed and that your absence would kill me before hunger would. I was probably the most blindest being on earth when I was with you yet I felt I was seeing the meaning in life that everyone else was missing out on.
And now I am so lost without you. True, now that I'm on my own I have found parts of me that I lost when I was with you but there are parts about me that I miss so much, parts that left me when you left me. Parts of me that made me into the better person. Like I have chunks missing from my wholesomeness. It makes me ugly.
More so, every time you talk to me and try explaining how your feeling about this all. Your words hit me like never before. I pull apart the words and I see the way you string them together. I don’t even hear the sentences as a whole. But I hear every word singularly strung together and it all make sense. More than that they are beautiful. I’m lost in your ability to say them and give meaning to what is now and express the way it is for you. When did you start speaking this way? And that’s when I start to fall again. Could I ever meet anyone that will express themselves as freely and fearlessly as you do.
Free and fearless…that’s what you are. that’s all I ever wanted.
For someone to love me free and fearlessly.